I'm in Toronto!  I just won Jays tickets for tomorrow night...how cool is that!?!?!  Can't WAIT!

So, here I am in Elmira once again.  It's as beautiful day (21 degress for all you chilly northern folk!) and I'm having a really nice visit.  My dad was well enough to be discharged Monday morning, so we were able to bring my dad home on the way back from the airport.  It worked out really well because we got to visit with Joel too.  He was really happy to see Caleb and got lots of hugs from him...what good medicine!  He was really determined to come home today (Tuesday), but will have to stay until tomorrow.  He's pretty discouraged but is accepting that they just want to take care of him.  What a great kid! 

It's been neat to see the rally of support my family has had over the last week or so; food, gifts, flowers, cards, phone calls, prayers...it's incredible!  What fortune they have to be surrounded by family and friends.

OK...so Lent...well...a friend and I have been trying to keep eachother to our "restrictions" so to speak, but it's really tough.  I'm kind of annoyed with myself for having such a hard time doing without some things that I don't need anyway.  This past week I was doing some Diabetic counselling with a gentleman who is having a really hard time with the dietary restricitons associated with Diabetes.  There are lots of handouts with tones of ideas and helpful strategies available, so I made some offers and suggested some resources.  After the MD had seen him and finished up the visit, the MD and I got talking about how we all tend to think along the same lines as the diabetic we had just seen.  We think we are so hard done by when we can't have what we want or crave whether it be food, clothes, money, posessions even if it's bad for us.  The conversation ended like this.  MD said, "If you've never tried cocaine and experienced its "high" should you feel like you've been left out, like you're missing out on something?"  Hmmmm....

On a totally different note, my dad and brother are in hospital in Hamilton right now.  My dad made the incredible decision to donate his kidney to Joel.  Pretty cool eh!  The surgeries went well and both are recovering at a typical rate.  I feel very far away from them right now.  Caleb and I will be flying down on Monday to help take care of my dad - who will be d/c home.  I am getting very anxious to see them.  My mom seems anxious for me to come too.  It's kinda funny, but this is one of the first times I feel like I'm coming home as an adult.  Her wanting and needing me at home to help out feels really good.  A real confidence booster.  Like I have skills and knowledge that will be an asset to the situation.  I know she's looking forward to visiting with me (and Bebub too! ) and so am I, but her confidence in me feels great! 

We have been having a lot of challenges with Keilan's behavior the past 2 weeks.  He is unusually disobedient and quite disrespectful in how he speaks to us.  He seems really frustrated with something but can't verbalize it.  As I was tidying up his books today, I realized that it had been quite a while since I sat down and read to him, something he really quite enjoys.  We do try almost every night at to read at bedtime, but Caleb sometimes "gets in the way."  I sort of played back the last few weeks and realized that I hadn't done much of anything just Keilan and I.  I don't know if it's because of work, or just the busyness of life.  But whatever it is, it's encrouching on my time with my son.  I'm sad that he might feel left out or forgotten...ok I feel horrible about it!  I love him entensely!!  I love spending time with him...he's truly an incredible kid!  So my goal is to rework my priorities and place time alone with him much closer to the top.  I hope it will help...

Well, that's kinda it for my ramblings.  It's 4:00am and I've got quite a caffeine buzz...on a half a cup!!! 

Here I am...at work...again.  I've spent the last 2 weeks sleeping, eating and waking at regular (SANE) hours and now I'm right back to the crazy day/night schedule.  It's been a good night so far, but of course I'm looking forward to going to bed...ah...my own bed.  We've been sleeping on hotel beds, futons, couches and "seen better days" beds as we traveled around from house to home. 

OK, where do I start?  I was a little worried when we set out on our trip as it started with me not able to find any of Caleb's "tooties."  The only one I could find had a hole in it and had no clip attached...yikes! He is a tootie-man!  We Barnes have had some bad luck with family vacations and I was SOOOO hoping this one would be different.  Thankfully it was, the tootie incident was easily resolved.  The trip truly was a time of rejuvenation and rest - something we all desperatly needed.  Our familes were so wonderful to us and we thoroughly enjoyed our visits.  It was great to see old friends and new babes and to see many changes to a place we once called home. 

You know, I thought it would be easier to leave the longer I've been away.  It isn't the place that's hard to leave, it's the people.  As my relationships deepen, I find it harder and harder to say good bye.  E-mail, blogging and phoning are good, but face to face is great.

Some days I miss our parents - watching them enjoy the kids, eating a meal that tastes like home, hearing voices that sound like home.  It was so nice to have my parents and in-laws watch the kids for us.  I can hardly imagine what it would be like to live in the same town as they do...

No worries.  I'm not home-sick or singing a "woe is me" tune, it's just fresh on my mind.  I do love my life here in T-Bay.  In fact I think it was the first time I came home and really looked forward to my house, my job, my friends...it felt good.  I'd love to dig up Thunder Bay and move it...oh...maybe 12 hours South of here and re-plant it.  Any takers?

I've got ooodles more to write about the fun stuff we did on our trip, but...oh yes...I do have to get back to work!